A few weeks ago, my sister told me that she and her boyfriend got engaged. It was nice to hear for her because she is one of those girls who is perfect for being married, and her boyfriend is pretty perfect for her too. I honestly wish her the best. When I told Wayne the news, he asked if I was jealous. And I said yes, I was, but simply because she’s going to have something I won’t. If you have siblings, you know what it’s like when one of your siblings get something and you pout when you don’t get the same thing because it “isn’t fair”. It’s that kind of jealousy.
Since then, I have heard of three or four more people getting engaged. I know when you want a baby and can’t have one, all you want is a baby. When you’re single, all your see are couples. So it seems logically that since I’m not engaged, I am noe more aware of the number of people getting married. But does this actually mean that whatever I’m feeling is jealousy?
I’m not saying I want to get engaged tomorrow and be married and all that jazz. Although I want a shiny ring, I don’t want an engagement ring. I want a shiny ring because I like shiny things (and I already have a watch and bracelet that I can’t change). I’m really picky about jewelry. I have fairly neutral feelings about the concept of marriage, while Wayne mostly doesn’t believe in marriage. I knew from a young age that if I got married, it would depend on the guy/relationship. I knew I wouldn’t beg married just to get married.
So why am I kinda pouting every time I see that someone else has gotten engagement?